Robin Thicke's "Sex Therapy": Time Is Seriously Running Out, Robin...

Rating: 2.5/5

You see guys...as far as I can see there’s certainly room for Robin Thicke.

On one end of the spectrum there’s the incomparable Maxwell, whose most recent release, “BLACKsummers’night,” astounded with its smooth instrumentation and majestically-vintage melodies. Way at the other end of the current R&B auteur spectrum is The Dream, whose ubiquitous, synthesizer-heavy sound has resulted in not only some of the finest pop songs of the past decade (“Umbrella” and “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” to name a few), but an outstanding debut album, and an even better follow-up, the criminally-overlooked “Love vs. Hate.” Robin Thicke, relying on Marvin Gaye(or Maxwell)-influenced falsetto crooning while not shying away from hip hop-influenced, dance floor-ready production, lies somewhere in between.

And with his latest offering, the aptly-titled “Sex Therapy,” Thicke makes this all the more apparent. 2007’s largely self-penned and produced “Something Else,” with its heavy-handed, 70’s soul-inspired sound, was a dud both commercially and artistically. Thicke’s ambitions were admirable, but the results were just plain boring. This time around Thicke has stepped away from the producer’s chair however, enlisting the assistance of the likes of Polow da Don and Teddy Riley, and racking up an impressive roster of guests, including Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, Jazmine Sullivan, Kid Cudi and Game. The results clearly demonstrate Thicke’s mainstream R&B balancing act, at times recalling his earlier, retro-leaning sound before shifting into synth-heavy, 106 & Park territory.

And yet somehow, Sex Therapy ends up almost just as boring. Content-wise, things basically center on sex, sex, and then more sex, but that's to be expected, and isn't really the problem. No, unfortunately the blame can be laid firmly upon the shoulders of the man himself. Thicke’s Achilles heel is his voice, without question. Maybe he’s going for a sultry, sexy sound, but that’s no excuse for sounding as paper-thin as he often does. Once again, Thicke’s ambitions are admirable; he obviously admires the vocal stylings of Marvin Gaye and Curtis Mayfield, but he simply lacks their dynamic, emotion-drenched delivery (something D’Angelo and Maxwell have mastered). Consequently, whether Thicke is tackling a mature, grown-and-sexy sound with the shuffling “Mrs. Sexy,” spare, low-key funk on “Make U Love Me,” or a frantic, booty-clapping heatrock like the Nicki Minaj-assisted “Shakin’ It 4 Daddy,” the results are always listenable…but bland. Very, very bland.

Now there are definitely moments on Sex Therapy where the writing and production is just too good for this to be such a big problem. “Meiple,” featuring a show-stealing Jay-Z, is genuinely inventive and fun, and Kid Cudi’s stellar, spaced-out, hard rocking contribution, “Elevators,” takes Thicke into new and almost-exciting territory. But at the end of the day, Sex Therapy glaringly lacks a singular, driving personality underneath all the gloss. And it’s just kind of inexcusable when you’re entire album could be sung by someone else, and no one would really care.

Like I said, there’s definitely room for you, Robin.

Just don’t get too comfortable, maybe?

Grammy Nominees...And My Meaningless/Longwinded Predictions And Complaints!

The annual announcement of Grammy nominees is usually a cringe-worthy event for any music nerd, and this year is basically no exception.

Now not everything here is completely terrible, but sometimes it really does boggle the mind how off the mark the Grammys can be. Who voted-in some of these nominees? How is it that people like Eric Clapton walk away with a nomination every fucking year? I didn’t even know he’d put anything out.

Beyonce garnered ten nominations this year, which is pretty crazy/awesome, although I’m still trying to figure out why “I Am…Sasha Fierce” is a double album when the two discs combined run a total of 41 minutes (which doesn’t even fill one disc). Anyway, the constantly-in-your-face, can’t-get-rid-of-her Taylor Swift wound up with eight nominations, and my current obsession, Lady Gaga, grabbed six.

Alright, enough rambling. Here’s a list of the nominees in the categories I know you care about, buoyed by my meaningless commentary on who should win, who will win, and who had absolutely no business even being nominated.

-Record of the Year
Beyonce “Halo”
The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling”
Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”
Lady Gaga “Poker Face”
Taylor Swift “You Belong to Me”

Who will win: Pretty boring, right? I can assure you that the last person I want to win this is Taylor Swift. And of course…that is exactly who will win this. “Poker Face” is too fun, and “Use Somebody” would just make too much sense. The Grammys rarely make sense guys.

Who should win: “Poker Face” and “Halo” were everywhere, as was “Use Somebody”, so any of those three would sit well with me. Oh what the hell…I’m going with “Poker Face” because the video is the shit.

WTF!?: The only Black Eyed Peas I like are the ones on my plate. Sorry.

-Album of the Year
Beyonce “I Am…Sasha Fierce”
The Black Eyed Peas “The E.N.D.”
Lady Gaga “The Fame”
Dave Matthews Band “Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King”
Taylor Swift “Fearless”

Who will win: Let’s not even talk about the fact that none of these albums are actually the best albums of the year. They’re really not, though. Well…maybe The Fame, but that’s definitely not winning. Bet on either Dave Matthews or Taylor Swift walking away with this one, you know…since they’re the boring ones.

Who should win: Let me reiterate that none of these albums should win…but The Fame is the shit.

WTF!?: How did the Black Eyed Peas find themselves in this category?

-Song of the Year
Lady Gaga “Poker Face”
Beyonce “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)”
Maxwell “Pretty Wings”
Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”
Taylor Swift “You Belong to Me”

Who will win: Ok, keep in mind that this is a songwriting category. It’s all about the songwriting. Now think about which of these songs is the most poorly written. Figured it out? Yeah…that’s the one that’s going to win. Congrats Taylor! I mean damn, why is she nominated in every category? “Party in the U.S.A” is way better anyway.

Who should win: Seriously…”Pretty Wings” is gorgeous. Masterfully written. And Maxwell was robbed out of an Album of the Year nomination. Just sayin….

WTF?!: There isn’t much of a “what the fuck” moment here, to be honest. Everything is pretty much as you’d expect it to be. No rap songs, of course. Nothing really adventurous or different, either. Top 40 all the way.

-Best New Artist
Zac Brown Band
Keri Hilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings

Who will win: Zac Brown Band, of course. They’re the country band. The Grammys love country.

Who should win: Anyone under 30 is probably thinking MGMT on this one (including myself). Of course, they stand absolutely no chance.

WTF!?: Keri Hilson had a couple hits this year, but Best New Artist?

-Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Beyonce “Halo”
Adele “Hometown Glory”
Katy Perry “Hot N Cold”
Pink “Sober”
Taylor Swift “You Belong to Me”

Who will win: It seems unlikely, I know. But I’m telling you, Taylor Swift is going to win everything. Just wait…this time next year you’re going to hate her with a passion.

Who should win: Adele.

WTF!?: I’ll give it to the Grammys on this one. This category has no “what the fuck” moments at all. Everything here basically makes sense.

-Best Dance Recording
Lady Gaga “Poker Face”
The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling”
David Guetta and Kelly Rowland “When Love Takes Over”
Madonna “Celebration”
Britney Spears “Womanizer”

Who will win: Gaga all the way on this one.

Who should win: Umm…Duh!

WTF?!: There were many, MANY better dance songs than “Celebration” this year. I got mad love for the Queen of Pop, but c’mon!

-Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals
Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood “Can’t Find My Way Home”
Coldplay “Life in Technicolor II”
Green Day “21 Guns”
Kings of Leon “Use Someobody”
U2 “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”

Who will win: U2 could fart into a tape recorder and it would win song of the year at the Grammys. This awards show is obsessed with them. Expect them to win every rock category they’re nominated for. At least they didn’t get an album of the year nom though, because they’d win that too.

Who should win: “Use Someobdy,” without question.

WTF?!: What did I tell you. Sure, this wasn’t the best year rock has ever had, but did we really need to nominate Eric Clapton here?

-Best Hard Rock Performance
We’re just gonna skip this one because it’s atrocious and the Grammys suck.

-Best Metal Performance
Judas Priest “Dissident Aggressor”
Lamb of God “Set to Fail”
Megadeth “Head Crusher”
Ministry “Senor Peligrino”
Slayer “Hate Worldwide”

Who will win: One of the old guy bands for sure (which are 4 of the 5 bands nominated, actually). It’s as if the Grammys think metal bands ceased to exist after 1986.

Who should win: I wouldn’t mind Slayer taking this one. “Hate Worldwide” is actually pretty amazing.

WTF?!: Did the Grammys not get the memo that Mastodon released one of the best metal albums ever this year?

-Best Rock Album
Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood “Live at Madison Square Garden”
AC/DC “Black Ice”
Green Day “21st Century Breakdown”
Dave Matthews Band “Big Whisky and the Groogrux King”
U2 “No Line On The Horizon”

Who will win: Since Dave Matthews Band are also nominated in the album of the year category, logic would tell you that they’re taking this category for sure. But never underestimate the undying love and appreciation the Grammys have for U2. Seriously, Bono is like the God of the Grammys.

Who should win: Say what you will about Green Day, but 21st Century Breakdown is actually fantastic. They were robbed out of an album of the year nod as well.

WTF!?: Seriously though, have the Grammys not heard of Mastodon? How about the Dead Weather? They’ve definitely heard of Eric Clapton though. Haha that’s for sure…

-Best R&B Song
Jamie Foxx f/ T-Pain “Blame It”
Jazmine Sullivan “Lions, Tigers & Bears”
Beyonce “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”
Maxwell “Pretty Wings”
Pleasure P “Under”

Who will win: Beyonce should have this one locked up, but watch out for an upset from my man Maxwell.

Who should win: I really want to say Maxwell or Jazmine Sullivan, but I just can’t do that. I mean, I’m gonna finish this article in a minute…but “Single Ladies” is one of the best R&B songs of all time! OF ALL TIME! (I had to do it.)

WTF?!: Pleasure P?

-Best Rap Solo Performance
Drake “Best I Ever Had”
Eminem “Beautiful”
Jay-Z “D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)”
Kid Cudi “Day N’ Nite”
Mos Def “Casa Bey”

Who will win: “Casa Bey” is a phenomenal song, but Mos Def stands no chance here. I’m thinking either Jay-Z or Eminem (bet on Eminem).

Who should win: Believe it or not, I’m actually going with Drake on this one. I basically like all of these songs, but the impact of “Best I Ever Had” is actually quite remarkable. I mean c’mon guys…this was a mixtape track!

WTF?!: These nominees are pretty solid. No complaints…although we could definitely use a little Raekwon here.

-Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Beyonce and Kanye West “Ego”
Keri Hilson f/ Kanye West and Neyo “Knock You Down”
Jay-Z f/ Rihanna and Kanye West “Run This Town”
The Lonely Island f/ T-Pain “I’m On A Boat”
T.I. f/ Justin Timberlake “Dead and Gone”

Who will win: Hmmm…this is actually a tossup. Beyonce, Keri Hilson and Jay-Z could all take this one, but I guess I’d bet on “Run This Town,” mainly due to the star power in the collaboration. But watch out for an upset from Keri Hilson. “Knock You Down” was a huge hit.

Who should win: Definitely “Run This Town.” Rihanna absolutely nailed the hook on that song.

WTF?!: Yes, “I’m On A Boat” really is nominated for best Rap/Sung Collaboration. It’s shit like this that makes you wonder if the Grammys even care anymore?

-Best Rap Album
Common “Universal Mind Control”
Eminem “Relapse”
Flo Rida “R.O.O.T.S.”
Mos Def “The Ecstatic”
Q-Tip “The Renaissance”

Who will win: Eminem, for sure.

Who should win: I’m on the fence about this one. Q-Tip’s album was pretty great, but the frontrunners in this category are definitely Mos Def and Eminem. Great albums from both guys, but “Relapse” was perhaps the more meticulously-produced and crafted album, which scores some points in my book. I’m going with Eminem.

WTF?!: Common, Eminem, Mos Def, Q-Tip and…Flo Rida? GTFOH!

Clipse' "Til the Casket Drops": I guess the dirty money really ain't that bad...

Rating: 3.5/5

Clipse certainly have a lot to live up to with their new album, don't they?

Gloomy, paranoid and downright suffocating, Clipse’ 2006 sophomore effort “Hell Hath No Fury” is a masterpiece. Among the most critically acclaimed hip hop albums of the past ten years, Hell Hath saw the brothers from Virginia Beach channeling all of their frustrations (with their asshole label Jive records, in particular) into the album, forsaking mainstream pop sensibilities entirely. The album plunges the listener into the madness of the cocaine business; murder, greed, paranoia and regret abound, underscored by some of the best production the Neptunes have ever been responsible for. It pleased the hell out of critics, as well as the group’s adoring fan base, but received a positively ice cold reception at record stores. Faced with the dilemma of balancing artistry with the allure of a platinum plaque, Clipse return with “Til the Casket Drops,” a fierce statement of defiance and success, though also a considerably lighter affair.

Often, the results are absolutely brilliant. Opening with the hard rocking “Freedom,” Clipse make it clear that they couldn’t give two shits about critical opinion of their work, with Pusha T proclaiming “I’m only finding comfort in knowing you can’t replace me/What a thing to say/But what am I to do?/I’m role playing a conscious nigga/And true is true/Cocaine aside, all of the bloggers behoove/My critics finally have a verse of mine to jerk off to/I own you all.” From there, the duo runs effortless through no less than seven tracks without a single blunder. Jittery, high wire synthesizers propel the Cam’ron-assisted “Popular Demand,” and “Kinda Like A Big Deal,” anchored by a rumbling, percussion-heavy monster of a beat, is Clipse at their arrogant best (although they do get just a tad outshined by an overachieving, hilarious Kanye West). “I’m Good” is glamorous, self-aggrandizing, fun, the reggae-tinged, anti-snitching juggernaut “There Was A Murder” entertains and disturbs in equal measure, and “Never Will It Stop,” featuring Re-Up Gang member Ab Liva, is as intense and musically unrelenting as its title would suggest.

But then Clipse make two near-fatal mistakes, practically bringing the momentum of Til the Casket Drops to a standstill with the Keri Hilson(?) assisted “Eyes On Me” and the equally forgettable, Nicole Hurst-assisted “Counseling.” Not only are these songs entirely unnecessary and unremarkable R&B collaborations (i.e. obvious attempts at radio airplay and mainstream acceptance) that, within the context of the album, stick out like hot pepper flakes in a gram of cocaine, but they’re sequenced back to back, and thus bringing the otherwise inventive, hard-edged proceedings to a halt. Unlike Hell Hath’s “Dirty Money,” which felt more like satire of the common practice in hip hop of including a customary “song for the ladies” on an otherwise misogynistic, testosterone-drenched album, there’s just no sarcasm to be found on “Eyes On Me,” a basic, run-of-the-mill exercise in the art of the club banger; something that Clipse don’t do very convincingly.

The group recover nicely though, returning to the epic, remorseful, organ and synth-heavy anthems that they do do convincingly, on stellar tracks like the DJ Khalil-produced “Footsteps” and the stunning, Kenna-assisted finale, “Life Change.” The album ends on a decidedly triumphant, positive note; quite a departure from the fearful, weary-eyed “Nightmares,” Hell Hath No Fury’s dreary conclusion. In contrast to that album’s bitterness and malevolence, Til the Casket Drops is a celebration of life; a decidedly immoral, illegal and potentially deadly life, to be exact. It explains the overall lighter tone and their ill-advised dancefloor ambitions, and the results easily best almost every other rap album released in 2009. But after an album as lean and mean as Hell Hath No Fury, the results are sure to be just a little jarring for even the most steadfast Clipse aficionado.

Gotta love that dirty money though, right?

John Mayer's "Battle Studies": Where The Hell Is John Mayer?

Rating: 2.5/5

Guys, I think John Mayer's holding back on us.

After coming across like a tepid, bland Dave Matthews wannabe on his first two albums, John Mayer’s “Continuum” seemed to come out of nowhere. Boasting a molasses-thick blues sound and simple, elegant songwriting, Continuum was definitely one of the best albums of 2006, and it’s probably among the finest pop albums released this decade. Lyrically, the album saw Mayer reach much deeper than on previous efforts, allowing the listener into his world to find parallels with their own hopes and fears. The songs were memorable, warm, and relatable.

And all of this makes Mayer’s new album “Battle Studies” all the more disappointing. To an extent, most of these songs are actually pretty good. The slightly hard-edged “Assassin” comes equipped with a hard rocking chorus, and his cover of the blues classic “Crossroads” sees Mayer almost, sorta, kinda make good on his promise as a potential heir to the bluesy white guy, singer-songwriter throne. But often Mayer seems to be settling into an airy, U2-inspired sound that just doesn’t hold up, with songs like “Heartbreak Warfare” and “War of My Life” sounding like Joshua Tree b-sides.

“All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye” is a total snooze-fest meanwhile, and the Taylor Swift-assisted “Half of My Heart,” though possessing a fairly solid lyrical motif, lacks any edge whatsoever. But don’t get it twisted; there a moments on Battle Studies that work fantastically. The slow burning “Edge of Desire” is a perfect example of the beauty in subtle, nuanced songwriting, and first single “Who Says,” is definitely among Mayer’s best compositions. Why, you ask? Well, for starters it conveys the guy’s sense of humor. Ending with the knock out line, “It’s been a long night in New York City/It’s been a long time since 20 too/I don’t remember you looking any better/But then again I don’t remember you,” this is Mayer at his most intriguing and convincing.

For most of Battle Studies however, Mayer seems to be playing it safe. The guy is just being too nice; too conservative when it comes to injecting some of that charming, charismatic personality we’ve all been forced to contend with since his ridiculously unlikely descent into tabloid fixturedom. These songs always sound good, but there’s much left to be desired in terms of establishing a connection with what you’re hearing.

C'mon John...how's about opening up a little bit next time?

Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment": He Will...He Will ROCK YOU! (sorta)

Rating: 3.5/5

At the start of “Strut,” track 4 on “For Your Entertainment,” when Adam Lambert croons “I wanna start a revolution,” one can’t help but see it as the album, and the man’s, mission statement.

I mean, Adam Lambert’s very existence is pretty damn revolutionary. There have been many openly gay pop stars, but certainly not at the start of their careers. The sexual orientation of George Michael, Elton John and Freddie Mercury was perhaps an open secret throughout their respective heydays, but Lambert is beginning his career open, honest and unapologetic about whom he is, and that’s important. Gay youth (and straight youth, as well) across the globe can turn on the radio and hear a young, talented and confident gay man treat his sexuality exactly the way he should, rather than as some dark secret to be ashamed of and hide at all costs. While this is exciting and, well…awesome, it places quite the burden on the 27 year-old American Idol alum; can he live up to not just the hype, but the responsibility of forging new ground for a community in the throes of a vital, ever-intensifying battle for equal rights?

Well, the second part of that question remains to be seen (and would be quite the daunting task to judge). Musically, “For Your Entertainment” is a respectable, accomplished debut album however, showcasing Lambert’s exceptional pipes over slice after slice of fun, life-affirming, Queen-inspired glam-pop. It’s a bit disappointing that things stay at the shallow end of the pool lyrically, oscillating between carefree, “life is good” sentiments and lover’s lament. But sometimes the results are spectacular; “Pick U Up” is a blast, and album highlight "Sure Fire Winners," Lambert's response to "We Will Rock You" and "We Are The Champions," actually rocks pretty hard. The aforementioned “Strut” is a perfect example of songwriting that marries concept with sound perfectly (the song really does...strut), and the Lady Gaga-penned “Fever” is the album’s sexiest and most confident moment, perhaps in part due to the fact that it’s the only song where Lambert has the balls to use the pronouns “he” and “him” to describe the object of his affections, rather than playing it safe.

Elsewhere though, the album begins to falter with cookie cutter, mainstream pop numbers, like lead single “For Your Entertainment” for example, that do nothing particularly spectacular and seem to just lumber along until they’re over, relying on Lambert himself to carry the song. "Aftermath," for example, boasts a phenomenal vocal performance, as does just about everything here, though the song itself is actually quite bland.

But when things slow down, the results are quite stunning. “Soaked,” written by Muse, is absolutely gorgeous. Boasting the best vocal performance on the album, Lambert sounds like Jeff Buckley reincarnated. “Soaked” is gloriously heavy-handed, but its twin, album closer “Broken Open,” utilizes a subtle, Radiohead-inspired electronic sound, and a beautiful, effectively-restrained performance from Lambert, to end the album in haunting, contemplative fashion.

There’s something to be said for the way Adam Lambert injects his unique personality into this music; this is definitely his album. Hopefully next time he’ll be able to match his admirable ambition with song craft that works all the time, rather than just some of the time.

But for a first try, “For Your Entertainment” is nothing to be ashamed of.

Lady Gaga's "The Fame Monster": Your New Favorite Album

Rating 4.5/5

Is Lady Gaga even human?

Ridiculous question, I know, but upon snagging my first listen to “The Fame Monster” last week, I’ve been pondering this mystery ever since.

I mean, what can't she do? Her music videos and live performances are quickly becoming must-see media events (did anybody else see her break a massive glass barrier surrounding a piano with a microphone stand, set this same piano on fire while playing it, and then smash empty vodka bottles on its keys throughout her performance at the AMA’s last night?), her fashion sense (or fashion philosophy, perhaps) and public persona fascinates even her biggest detractors, and her music has basically held every club and radio station hostage for the past 8 months or so.

Lady Gaga owned 2009

And with The Fame Monster, she will undoubtedly own 2010 as well.

What I find most intriguing about The Fame Monster is how cohesive and satisfying it is. Running at just over 34 minutes in length, it’s hard to believe that The Fame Monster was supposed to be some measly collection of bonus tracks for the rerelease of the massively successful “The Fame” album. Don’t be confused or misled; The Fame Monster is a brisk, consistently entertaining album, and it’s better than The Fame. For one thing, It’s more interesting musically, going in some ridiculously unexpected directions. “Speechless”, most definitely the centerpiece of the album, is a new songwriting plateau for Gaga, stripping away the synthesizers and sound effects to reveal an actual heart underneath all that glitter and makeup (and fire and blood). Her vocal performance is masterful; powerful and sturdy at first, and then fragile and movingly unhinged the next. It's a near perfect exercise in epic, glammed-up power balladry that would definitely make Freddy Mercury crack an approving smile.

But the true gem here is the depraved, deliciously evil “Teeth”. Sounding like The Doors' “Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)” if it were produced by Timbaland, the song is meant to signal the point where Gaga gives in to that dastardly fame monster; she sings, “Got no salvation/Got no religion/Take a bite of my bad girl meat/Show me your teeth.” It’s one of the oddest pop songs I’ve heard all year, and it’s truly a testament to Lady Gaga’s talent that it works so damn well. The song struts along like a drunken supermodel teetering off the side of a runaway, at once sloppy and thrillingly fierce.

Elsewhere the songs may hold a bit closer to previous hits like “Paparazzi” and “Poker Face”, but it’s in the details, both sonically and lyrically, where Gaga takes things to the next level. “Bad Romance” has got to be her best moment lyrically, embracing the ugliness and misery of a relationship, and even conjuring a few clever Hitchcock references, with lines like “I want your psycho/Your vertigo shtick/I want you in my rear window/Baby, you’re sick.” Meanwhile, “Alejandro” comes complete with a fun, unforgettable hook, and “So Happy I Could Die” is a blissful, dreamlike send-up to a carefree, shit-faced night out with friends.

And did I mention that track 6, entitled "Telephone" feautures Beyonce?!

Say no more, right?

All in all, The Fame Monster is what’s happening right now. This is the pop album of the moment, and you’d have to be remiss or deaf to let it pass you by. In other words, it’ll be the soundtrack to you getting ready to go out to the clubs this weekend, and then it’ll be all you hear in the clubs once you get there.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, the year of Lady Gaga is upon us.

Rihanna's "Rated R": It's a MADHOUSE!!!

Rating: 5/5

When Rated R’s intro, “Madhouse,” opens with towering, horror movie organs and a mysterious, creepy voice announcing, “Ladies and Gentleman, for those among you that are easily frightened, we suggest you turn away now. To those of you who think they can take it, we say…Welcome to the Madhouse,” it becomes quite clear that this is a very different Rihanna.

Was it a calculated move on the part of her camp to return to the scene with an album as honest, raw and, at times, hardcore as Rated R? Or is this what happens when a young artist suffers the way Rihanna has over the course of this past year? I don’t know. What I do know is that Rated R is nothing less than a triumph; while there may not be another “Umbrella” here, what we have instead is a consistently adventurous, hard-edged, and surprisingly badass pop album.

There are multiple aspects of Rated R that stand out initially, one of which being Rihanna herself. The girl has finally arrived, matching Beyonce’s fiery, rapidfire vocals with her own funky, patois-inflected style, rather than simple mimicry. Rihanna’s swag (I hate that word, but bear with me) is intoxicating and endlessly entertaining throughout, particularly on 2nd single, “Hard”. Produced by The-Dream and Trick Stewart, and featuring a masterful guest verse from Young Jeezy, Rihanna sounds like Hip Hop’s response to Ronnie Spector; she plays it cool and detached, bragging effortlessly “All up on it/Know you wanna clone it/Ain’t like me, that chick too phony/Ride this beat, beat, beat like a pony/Meet me at the top, it’s getting lonely.” Rihanna has developed an incredible knack for selling a song with sheer force of personality, recognizing and exploiting the humor in some of the lyrics and then calculatedly enunciating them for maximum impact (check the way she sings “I’m such a fuckin’ ladaaaaay” on the much-maligned/completely underrated “The Wait Is Ova’” for proof). And when she has to take it down a notch, she does it with subtlety and class; “Take A Bow”-styled ballad “Stupid In Love” succeeds mainly because of the sweeping melodrama of the arrangement and Rihanna’s pained, emotion-drenched performance on the effectively-repetitive chorus.

Rihanna’s emergence as one of the most charismatic and effectual pop vocalist of her generation is welcome but not surprising; she made that very clear with her show-stealing performance on Jay-Z’s “Run This Town” earlier this year. What is most shocking about Rated R is the brash, honest and all-around badass lyrical content. Rated R is what Britney Spears’ Blackout would have been if Spears had chosen better songwriters/producers and had made the crucial decision not to pretend that the intense pressure and drama of her real life didn’t exist (the obvious exception being “Piece of Me”). Rihanna does not make this mistake, and has definitely given significant input into the songwriting here. “Russian Roulette” tells the story of a dangerous, ticking time bomb of a relationship, while the stunning, Justin Timberlake-penned “Cold Case Love” is definitely addressing Rihanna’s now infamous initial decision to rekindle her relationship with Chris Brown in the weeks following the assault. Over a spare, haunting organ, she croons plaintively “On my roof/Dark and I’m burning a rose/I don’t need proof/I’m torn apart and you know/What you did to me was a crime/Cold case love/And I let you reach me one more time/But that’s enough.”

Remarkably, the album is careful to respect the range of emotions one must feel in a toxic, volatile relationship, presenting an incredibly human picture of Rihanna and the struggle she’s endured. “Fire Bomb”, like a darker, better “Shut Up and Drive”, tells the story of star-crossed lovers, fated to destroy themselves with the intense, self-destructive love they share. And the bridge will give you chills, with Rihanna pleading “Baby we were killing them/They couldn’t handle the millionth degree/We were criminals/As we were burning the world called the police/Fire department, ambulance/You can call me crazy cause I believe/The only move for me and you/Is to blow our flames.” Three songs later comes “G4L”, a bitter, violent revenge fantasy and (perhaps ill-advised) rallying cry for battered women, complete with a horrifying opening line: “I lick the gun when I’m done/Cause I know that revenge is sweet/So sweet.” Rihanna once again takes a distant, almost maniacally detached tone, this time over a murky, simmering bed of synths, calling herself a “Gangsta 4 Life” and boasting “We’re an army/Better yet, a navy/Better yet, crazy/Guns in the air/Guns in the air/Guns in the air/Can’t hurt us again when you come around here.”

Rated R has its lighter moments as well, and the results are just as risky and electrifying. “Te Amo” may be the most musically and lyrically intriguing song on the album, telling the story of a brief, whirlwind lesbian love connection over a brisk and bright, latin-influenced arrangement. Elsewhere, Rihanna is in rare form, brashly proclaiming “Six inch walker/Big shit talker/I never play a victim/I’d rather be a stalker/So baby take me in/I’ll disobey the law/Make sure you frisk me good/Check my panties and my bra” over a storm of synths and heavy metal guitars on “Rock Star 101”. And as for the dance floor moment of the album, that award goes to “Rude Boy” a playful, in-your-face, dirty talk session over a dancehall-influenced beat. Rihanna mocks and taunts her partner throughout, asking “Come here rude boy/Boy, can you get it up?/Come here rude boy/Boy, is you big enough?/ Take it, Take it/Baby, Baby/Take it, take it/Love me, love me!” Yeah…like I said, this is a different Rihanna.

You’re going to hear a lot of things about Rated R in the coming weeks. Some people will hate it, and long for another song like “Disturbia” or “Don’t Stop The Music; others will disapprove of the content, perhaps finding it to be excessive or (my personal favorite) “setting a bad example.” Well, those people will be completely wrong.

Rated R is exactly the album Rihanna was supposed to make at this stage in her career. It may not sell as well as Good Girl Gone Bad, but it's undoubtedly the better album, revealing an emotional depth that, though previously dormant in Rihanna's music, was absolutely necessary for her to convey in the aftermath of her struggles.

And did I mention that its seriously badass?